My First and Most Emotional End of Life Session
Shannon, the client’s dog.
I signed up to be a registered end-of-life photographer through the Tilly Project a year ago. I had only had 2-3 people reach out to me for a session over the course of that year, but for different reasons they didn’t work out. In February 2023, I had someone reach out to me regarding an end-of-life session for their senior dog that had recently been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. This session was especially important to them because the dog, Shannon, helped my client’s mother through her cancer and they wanted to photograph their relationship. I was able to fit them into my calendar and we planned to meet at Quiet Waters Park.
A couple days before that session, I was watching my family dog, Hailey, for my dad while he was out of town for work. She was a senior dog, but full of spunk and sass so it was hard to tell her age. She was a forever puppy to me. I picked her up and she was her normal senior self, but then overnight she drastically changed. In less than 24 hours she stopped eating, drinking, going to the bathroom and wouldn’t budge from her bed. At first I figured she was being dramatic about being at my house as she was super clingy with my dad. Later that night I realized that her breathing was different and that worried me. I don’t think I slept that night. The next morning I came downstairs to find that she was in the same spot, still hadn’t eaten or gone to the bathroom. She refused water and wouldn’t acknowledge me, which was out of character for her. At this point I just had this gut feeling that she was nearing the end of her life. I called my sister, a former vet tech assistant, and my dad. My dad rushed to my house and we carried her outside to enjoy some time outside before we had to put her down. We took her to the vet as a family and were all there to love on her as she left us. I have had several pets over my young life, but it never gets easier to let a beloved pet go. After all of this happened, I realized that my first end-of-life session was the next morning. I already was questioning if I would be able to emotionally get through someone else’s pet dying, but how was I supposed to get through it now after experiencing it myself?
My family dog, Hailey.
I talked to my husband and decided to still photograph my client’s session because even though I was terribly upset, I knew how important these photos would be for them. I emailed my client and informed them about my situation. I told them that their session would still be photographed and that if I couldn’t emotionally get through it that I would have my husband (an amateur photographer) photograph their session. They were going to get their pictures either way.
The next morning, I show up with my husband to the session and I was quickly greeted by my client, her family, and her very sweet Shannon. They hugged me, wished my healing and kind words, gave me flowers and a card. I was obviously overwhelmed by this sweet gesture and just started to bawl my eyes out. I looked at Shannon and she reminded me of my smiling Hailey girl. I decided in that I could overcome my grief to photograph this sweet girl and her kind family. It felt like Hailey was there.
I spent the next hour talking with this family about their memories, life, and her mom’s cancer and relationship with Shannon during that time. It was a beautiful story and definitely demonstrated the healing superpower of dogs. By the time the session was ending, I felt some of the weight of grief lifted off of my chest. In a weird way, I think we were supposed to meet each other. I think this family and their dog was a part of my healing and I will be forever thankful for that.
We had Hailey for 13 or 14 years. We adopted her when I was in 5th grade and she was a beautiful crackhead border collie mix. I am glad I took photos of her the summer before she passed when her spunky personality was still there. That is how I will remember her forever.
If you are reading this, this is your sign to get photos of your pet done regardless of their age. You never know how much time you have with your beloved animals, so capture some memories while you still can. You will be grateful that you did and that you have those captured memories to cherish forever.
